Motivational Monday: So, He Put a Ring On It or Maybe You Want Him To

Hey Loves,

I hope your weekend was wonderful! It was a beautiful weekend on this side of the world. One thing I realized is that if this weather gets hotter, I am not going to be able to deal!  I am soo serious! Really, it’s not even Spring yet! I like the summer but I do not do well when it’s hot. If it can just stay in the high 70’s for the duration of spring AND summer, I will be good. Oh how I dream.

OAN, there are soooo many couple’s around the world who are announcing their engagement. It seems that every time I log onto facebook, someone has changed their profile pic (You know the one with the hand in the air and the stone is blinging). 🙂 I am personally thrilled to see so many people stepping up to the plate and embracing marriage which has lost its value among generations. However, as much as I am happy for each couple, I am also concerned for these relationships. I am by no means a relationship expert BUT I do have the Manual (The Good Book). What I desire in a relationship is definitely not what you may desire but truth is truth; we all deserve to be in a relationship that leaves you building upon a healthy foundation without fear and uncertainty. I can definitely dig a little deeper and pour my heart out but I am taking into consideration those who may not have the same beliefs as myself. With that being said, I will keep it simple. Here are a couple of things I believe correlate and are often overlooked when considering a relationship and marriage:

Worker: Regardless of the state of the economy, you need someone who is WILLING to work. When he or she is willing to work, then they will more than likely do what is necessary to meet the needs and get the job done. In addition to physical labor, this person will be willing to work for YOU. For those of you who are believers, recall the story of Jacob and Rachel?? Jacob worked 14 years for Rachel. If that ain’t love then I don’t know what is!  Note: Love is an act that brings about emotion! Trust me baby, its originator is not Mr.  Feeling.

Opportunist/Cultivator: This person seizes the opportunity to build something with you. There is no such thing as a “1-3 day wait after I meet you” rule. No texting more than we actually verbally communicate and so forth. None of that foolishness exists. He or she lets you know all intentions upfront; therefore, removing the need for guessing. Now, for the cultivator, this person possesses the heart to make anything or person that is a blessing to become better. Growth is on his or her priority list. If you cannot trust a person to work, why would you trust them with your heart?

Sadly, many of us entertain BEASTS. Simply put, a beast is wild in nature. This is why many of us entertain relationships that leave us wondering and sometimes stalking because the significant other (or so you think) is running wild. All the while, you are losing your mind because you are trying to tame a beast at heart. My experience is that a beast cannot be tamed and when an attempt is made, the person is left bruised, abused, and devoured. To go a little bit further, the only way to communicate with a beast is to speak the language. If you don’t speak BEAST then what good can come out of that thing you are trying to get through to and hold onto?

Truth be told, a man knows what he sees in you immediately (definitely w/in 6 months)….Friend, Kickn it Partner, or Wife. After years of being in a relationship with no progress or commitment other than a headache, becoming his child’s mother, or main girl, I certainly advise you to hang it up! Yes, many men desire to have their funds in order before moving to the next level. However, if it takes him 3-4 years and still no progress, that’s a problem in itself. According to the Joí Iman radar, you are good enough to be his girl or his common law wife but not in the presence of a civil authority.

Before he or she finds the one, a beast is often times the only image that is present per past experiences. Something in you, forces the other person to realize that you aren’t like the others. Once that clicks in the persons head, their declarations become truth because their actions reflect their feelings.

I am fully aware that many people are not pleased with Steve Harvey’s new found duty to warn women about men’s hidden agenda. He is  simply encouraging women to ACT LIKE LADIES and maneuver through relationships without compromising their heart or integrity. 

In his book, Steve Harvey outlines the three ways a man will show his love for a woman. I refer to them as the three P’s.

1. Profess 
After six months he should introduce you to people as his woman, girlfriend, lady, fiance, wife or something. Not as his friend, and definitely not just by your name. In the book Harvey writes “The man who truly has feelings for you will give you a title. That title is his way of letting everyone within the sound of his voice know that he is proud of being with you and that he has plans for you.”
2. Provide
Self explanatory. If a man loves you, he will provide for you.
3. Protect
During an interview with Oprah, Steve Harvey told the story of going deep sea diving with his wife. He’s not into diving so he instructed his security guard to swim around and keep an eye on her. The dive masters were instructed that if his wife did not come back up, everyone was to get into the water to look for her. If a man is into you, he will do everything in his power to protect you.

Listen to the first 3 MINUTES

All Love,


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